Male to Female Handkiss

Who brought back the awkward hand kiss? I'd like to know. B/c sure back in the 1800's it was a regal way to show affection but these days you are just trying to shake hands with someone, they do the rotation and kind of make out with the to...p of your hand a little. Its sloppy, it takes you off guard, and most of the time accomplishes the opposite of what was intended.

A lack of goods

The Bane of my existence is a lack of goods. Or "Treats" as Brendan would say...being unable to work out cause my pants won't stay up over my non existant ass.

LA Dodgers new ad campaign

Featuring Kim Kardashian and James Van der Beek. James is dramatically gripping a bat on a billboard of the la dodgers that states, "This is my town." Dawson Leary this hasn't been your town since the 1990s.

Misperception of Safe Driving: Jen Beekman Bane

You know what is the bane of my existence??? When people confuse driving under the speed limit as 'being safe' Its less safe when you go 40 on a 65 mph highway than if you just went the 65 mph. Seriously...because here you have someone behind you going 65-70 and it seems like your moving because your brake lights aren't onbut then oh shit...why am i getting so close to you...BAM OR when people think they are being 'cautious' and stop like 20398203928323 feet before they actually need to be stopped. Basically you're stopping in the middle of the road and that is not safe at all

Boyfriend Stealers

If ANYTHING is the bane of my existance its boyfriend stealers. I lived with a girl who had her uncle tell her that the sexual tension between her and her cousin's boyfriend was intense...on thanksgiving weekend. Boyfriend stealer. The girl who attempted to hit on my boyfriend at my birthday party after we had broken up for a split second and then further more was flirtatious when he literally came over to talk things out. We had to go into my room for her to leave us be. Attempted boyfriend stealer. The girl who literally stole a girl's boyfriend on this girl's birthday and trounced home wearing it like a badge of honor...and then when it didn't work out (surprise surprise) hit on countless other girls boyfriend's by the drothes. Oh and yeah, these were all the same person.

Boyfriend Stealers are one in the same...insecure in themselves therefore they must steal someone away from someone else to prove their worth. How they try to declare themselves "good people" when all the points prove to the contrary is baffling. I'm not gonna lie, at one point there was a guy i liked that had a girlfriend. I did NOTHING. When he decided to break up with her b/c they loved each other but weren't in love I was happy. We pursued something. Oh yeah...two months later, though he never declared it to me, I got the feeling that he went back to her. Good for her I said at that time....boo on me for falling for that guy. I felt like an absolute idiot. (That's another bane of my existance...the boys who don't know what they have when they have it).

I learned this from that situation....ladies, gentleman...it all bites you in the ass in the end, even if you didn't do anything wrong. Be aware of what you are getting yourself into in a relationship because you have someone else's happiness on the line. And most importantly, you have your own as well.

I don't know how i took a trip down memory lane...but boyfriend stealers suck.

80's work out fanatic

Running on treadmill. Long brown frizzy haired mullet man waddles over to a treadmill in front of me. The mullet is secured with an 80's blue headband. He has huge headphones attached to his CD Player in a "workout case". Fingerless leather grips (items that are used for those who are knowledgable about working out...believe me this man was not) are on his hands matching blue sweat bands around his wrists. A biking t-shirt and shiny tight spandex shorts that squished around and accentuate his bulge. GROSS.

Women who can afford personal trainers

I'm at my Physical Therapy appointment i'm in the tiny room next to the gym where trainers work out clients. A LA wife comes in with another client as I'm curling my hair as i normally do (its nothing fancy i swear). I've seen her numerous times, she's got a good bod (i SO wish i had the money for a personal trainer) and as she's walking out she says, "You do a really good job with your curling iron". I say, "Thanks!" She then says, "I need to teach my housekeeper to do that for me." Moment of silence as that processes. I say, "Yeah its really not that hard I learned it when i was fourteen from my sister. Its not something you really forget."

Her poor housekeeper. Having to take breaks from lysoling the countertops to do this woman's hair...ridiculous.

Express Tellers: Jen Beekman

You know whats the bane of my existence? express tellers. They're really not fucking 'express' at all and if you're going to have them in the same thing as the atms.....fucking make one thing for just express tellers.

More Gym Attire

Lady at gym working out in cowboy boots. It gets worse.

Panty hose

Panty hose with open toed gladiator sandals.

Primping before workout

Was at LA Fitness Universal City changing for my after work workout and this chick breaks out the curling iron BEFORE she gets on the treadmill. She takes whisps of hair and perfectly curls them around her face. After giving herself a final glance (hair promlike and coiffed) she heads for the weight area.

Sad. Very sad.

Fierce Chicken Decals

Pick up trucks that look fine except for the decal of a fierce chicken painted into the trucks rear. The artist attempted to make him look scary...but he was a chicken. To be exact, he was a chicklet.

Running into your ex at the mall food court in sweatpants.

Like seriously? Could we get more cliche? I felt like i was in a stupid chick lit book. At least I have a boyfriend and was not carrying my dirty underwear in a laundry basket.

-Amanda

Mouth-breathers:

1. Someone who is incapable of breathing through their nose

2. Someone stupid who is unaware that their mouth is gaping open, often taking in gallons of air and spewing their own dry, bacteria rotten maw into your clean air in your vicinity.

Provided my blogger in training: Jen Beekman

Bane of Our Existence: Post Numero Uno

1. When I try on my boyfriend's pants as a joke. And the waist is tight on me.